Self-Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance
I am a born perfectionist. I expect amazing results from myself, and when I make a mistake or don't achieve a goal exactly as intended, my ego's default is to beat me up: You're not good enough, smart enough, happy enough ...
BUT, thankfully I have come to learn that not only is this not healthy behaviour for my body, mind or spirit, this ego-minded thinking detracts from my goals and accomplishes NOTHING.
An amazing woman in my life shared a technique that is growing in popularity: Emotional Freedom Technique. For more information: eft.mercola.com
The idea is to remove negative emotions by "tapping" on the energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture all while saying this manta:
Even though I have this ____________________________ I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I have this feeling of unworthiness, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I have this anger at my mother, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I have this anger at the action I just took, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I have this pain in my stomach, I deeply and completely accept myself.
I LOVE THIS ... and it works. Using the mantra (and in combination with the tapping) reminds me that it is OK to be angry, hurt, sad, frustrated, in pain, etc. and that no matter what I love myself, I honour myself. And you know what? The KNOWING that I love myself fully, without any need to be "perfect," makes me feel SO much better. I have permission to feel any negative emotions and then, once I am centered in a place of self-love, I am able to easily release any negativity, to reach for a better feeling, to be grateful, to be happy.
Forgive yourself for not having your dream job, man, car, body, emotion right now. Accept your feelings as being part of you - and if you accept ALL parts of you, then you need to accept the emotions (good and bad) also. Try this: "I forgive myself. I love myself."
Remember: Self-Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance does not mean not being accountable for your actions, and it does not mean you shouldn't try to live the best life you can. You deserve to live a life beyond your wildest dreams! It is only from a place of LOVE that anything can be changed for the better. If you are fighting against yourself, you are putting a huge brick wall between you and your true desires.
I love you and deeply accept the person you are. I hope that you are able to do the same.