I'll Be Happy When I Have a Baby

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; 

it is something you design for the present.

~ Jim Rohn

When I was unable to get pregnant naturally, I experienced an overwhelming sense of loss and sunk into a deep depression. This got worse and worse with each passing month. Nothing could cure me and only a pregnancy would make me happy. I went on thinking that way for a long time.

But a year and a half later, when I still wasn’t pregnant, even with the help of a fertility clinic, I knew something had to change.

I was through with being depressed. I was also through with having fertility challenges.*

*(Note: I HAAATTTEEE the word infertility because I believe that words and the emotions behind those words are strong conduits for energy. That's why I use fertility challenges instead -- a challenge is something that you CAN overcome.)

I knew I needed a change. I needed a miracle - which A Course in Miracles defines as "a shift in perception."

I sat down to meditate one morning and it occurred to me: Why am I waiting to be happy? How is that going to help me call my child into my life? And why am I am putting so much pressure on my future child? I am putting my entire happiness onto his or her shoulders -- I certainly wouldn’t want my parents to put their entire sense of self worth and emotional state on me.

Maybe, it occurred to me, I had this all backwards.

It hit me: Instead of waiting for a baby to make me happy, maybe being happy will help me create a baby.

In other words, instead of waiting for a baby to fill you up with everything you think you need, get everything you think you need first in order to attract a baby.

I was finally blessed with the birth of a miracle, my shift in perception was here and I KNEW that a baby wouldn’t be far behind! And, that is exactly what happened! A few months after this realization, I became pregnant. 

 But, before I was able to get pregnant, I needed to first figure out how to be happy. I had spent so long being unhappy, where was I going to start?

Well, I evaluated my life, taking my desire for a child out of the equation (I did this with a lot of support from my own life coach). Where did I need to put more energy to be happy? My career at the time was not making me feel inspired or fulfilled. It was a big part of my life that just wasn’t working. So, I quit my steady job and focused full-time on my life coaching business – the career I was truly meant to be doing. That felt amazing -- I hadn’t realized how unhappy I had become depriving myself of the work that I was meant to be doing.

I’m not necessarily recommending quitting your job to get pregnant, but I see a huge correlation between making that decision and my body's ability to create a child.

With my fertility clients, I see life challenges (personal relationships, body image, finances, etc.) that are emotionally holding them back from realizing their full potential -- and, I believe, calling in their babies. This is NOT to lay blame AT ALL. There is no room for blame or guilt when it comes to wanting to have a child. I’m simply suggesting that before we are ready to have a baby, we need to do some emotional housekeeping first. Recognizing and acknowledging other areas of your life that aren’t flowing super smoothly will help you feel better, and when you feel better you will be in a much better place to call into your life that awesome soul you have been trying to create.

This in itself can be challenging and scary and does take time and a lot of personal growth and soul-searching. But, it’s worth it, because when that baby does come into your life, you are going to be one happy, awesome, inspiring mama!

Please be in touch if I can help you on your fertility journey.

Love and fertile blessings,

Alexandra