Waiting (for Baby) and Dating
Anyone going through medically assisted fertility treatment knows how much time is spent at the clinic itself – blood work, tests, inseminations, consultations... At once point in my life I was spending more time with fertility nurses that friends and family. Fortunately, my husband was able to accompany me to most early morning appointments.
At the beginning, both the nature and the frequency of these visits was overwhelming. I could feel my body tense with each appointment and looking around at all the beautiful women and men who wanted to have a baby with all their heart made me feel overwhelmed at the injustice.
My intuitive voice reminded me though that I needed to choose differently, I prayed for a better way to live through this experience.
Here is a radical idea that helped me not only get through this experience, but enjoy this time:
the fertility clinic can be a place to go on a date.
No, this would not be my location of choice. However, if I had to be there anyways, I decided I was going to like it!
My husband and I would get a tea, a light breakfast, and go to the clinic as if we were going to the Four Seasons. We would hold hands, talk about life, laugh, and enjoy our time together. Maybe ironically, we avoided talking about our fertility challenges - we would play games, use the clinics massage chair, listen to new music, etc.
We probably had more “dates” in a week than most married couples and our relationship greatly benefited from it. As well, looking forward to this time got my body into a more relaxed and joyful state.
I remember clearly the day my daughter was conceived (though Clomid/IUI) – after the procedure my husband sat in the room with me as I lay down, praying, and we watched silly animal videos. I remember laughing and feeling good. A few weeks later, we got a call – I was pregnant!
When faced with a fertility (or any other life) challenge, instead of fighting what is happening, choose to go with the flow, relax into the process and the results will be nothing short of miraculous.